The XCode version is not the blocker on pairing to the Mac, and installing a pre-release version of XCode is more likely to cause problems than solve them. Visual Studio and Xamarin.iOS do not support pre-release versions of XCode.
There is an issue with VS's ssh connectivity to Ventura currently being investigated at macOS Ventura 13.0 Beta - Impossible to connect to Remote Mac Host . If these symptoms match yours then please vote it up and join that discussion. If not then please post you own feedback with specific details of your scenario and symptoms.
Note that Q&A is not a bug reporting site. The best way to report VS bugs is on the VS Feedback site per Report a problem with the Visual Studio product or installer