Hi @Adele Vance,
Welcome to the Microsoft Q&A platform!
Based on your description, I understand there are some concerns about update Exchange 2016 to 2019 in hybrid.
For these concerns, I have the following to share with you. You may need to export your SSL certificates from the Exchange 2016 server and import them to the Exchange 2019 server. The HCW does not automatically handle SSL certificate transfer.
Also, you will need to manually recreate the connectors on the Exchange 2019 server. The HCW does not import these settings from the Exchange 2016 server automatically either. And there is no need to reconfigure AADConnect when you change your hybrid server.
Also, I found a detailed hybrid upgrade guide for your reference: How to Upgrade Exchange Hybrid Server 2016 to 2019? (linkedin.com). (Please note that the link is not an official Microsoft document and is for reference purposes only.)
Moving to Exchange 2019 is a good step to extend support and compatibility. If reducing the need for internal relays as you said is an option, it may eliminate the need for on-premises Exchange entirely, moving to a full cloud solution.
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