Sorry you are having this issue. It looks like you've done a lot of trouble shooting already. There is one more thing you can try. Go to https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/detail... and download SurfacePro4_Win10_16299_1709001_0.msi to your Surface. Now disconnect from the Internet. Go into device manager and uninstall and this time DELETE the drivers for the two USB items you previously uninstalled. Now run the MSI. When installation is completed, restart your Surface. Try one of the USB sticks that was not being recognized. (Connect to the Internet after trying a USB stick).
If the above fails, if you are within 10 days of installing 1709, you should be able to go back to your previous version of Windows. If past 10 days, sadly the only option is to wipe and reimage from a downloadable recovery image https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/surfacereco... (and I know how painful that is).
1709 seems to be causing issues for folks, although I've only seen one other report in this forum of this USB issue.