Hello Matt Cronic,
Thank you for posting to the Microsoft Community. Sorry to hear about the troubles you're having with the power cord of your Surface Pro 3.
After reading your post, the first thing I would do is try to reach a Microsoft store is there is one in your area for a replacement and if there isn't one, I would recommend you try to reach out to our Care team for a replacement.
The can be reached here.
I understand you've tried to reach them and failed, I would suggest you try with a different browser and if you're still not able to, please try
calling them directly at this number listed here.
Once again sorry for the troubles and hopefully this issue is quickly taken care of for you.
Please keep us posted.