Thank you for posting your inquiry here in Microsoft Community, Schmidtzilla.
I'm sorry to hear that your Surface doesn't boot up correctly. I will do my best to assist.
May I confirm if you have performed the same USB recovery process as below? This process will wipe everything out on your device and install a fresh operating system. If you'd like to try to back up your files, please check this thread: Rescue Files when Windows Won't Start.
You’ll need a USB (USB stick) with at least 16GB/32 GB and format it clean (make sure that you have chosen FAT32 as the file system while formatting the USB). You'll need a PC running Windows 10 or Surface Device to download the system files/recovery image on the Microsoft Website.
Note: USB/Flash drives are the only required device for you to perform the follow steps below successfully.
After formatting the USB to FAT32 USB, convert the FAT32 USB stick as a bootable device. Go to search > search for create a recovery drive > then follow the on-screen instructions. Please proceed to the steps below after converting your USB to a bootable USB stick:
• Download the System Files or Recovery Image:
- Go to the Download a recovery image for your Surface.2. If you’re signed in with your Microsoft account, you will be prompt to choose the device from the list of devices on your Microsoft Account. If you’re not signed in, choose a product on the drop-down menu and provide the Serial Number of the device.3. Once the download is finished, go to the file, right-click and choose Extract all then choose the USB/Flash drive.
• Perform the USB recovery:
- Shutdown the device by pressing/holding the power button for 10 seconds until it’s off.
- Insert the USB recovery drive into the USB port.
- Press and hold the power button for 15 seconds.
- Choose your language options and keyboard layout.
- Select Troubleshoot.
- Select Recover from a Drive. Choose Remove Everything and Fully Clean the Drive. Recovering this PC. If prompted for BitLocker Key, tap Skip this Drive.
- Select “Recovery”.
If the issue still persists, please visit our contact us page; https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/contactus/ to contact Microsoft Surface Support. If you're located outside the United States, you can check our Global Support Contact page; https://support.microsoft.com/help/4051701/.