You certainly have had a troubling time! :D You know what, I actually sent an email to Microsoft this problem, but a representative called me back to inform me that "it is a windows core process and will always run in the background, using more memory
as more applications are opened" !! I explained repeatedly (took 10 minutes) that it's using up an abnormal amount of ram (mentioning clearly 1 GB) without any apps open, but he refused to accept my problem! O_O What do they think we are? Frustrated, I ended
the call and sent an email to Bitdefender. My bitdefender version is already the latest "Windows 8 Compatible" version. :-/ :p
By the way, since we are using different antivirus products, it is possible that the problem could well be of Microsoft here, as EricGorbould just mentioned.
Speaking of the customer service, it is really horrible as you are stating, and from my experience here, I feel the same. :-/
Don't worry however. They must be coming up with a solution soon. They are after all the most popular antivirus applications, and besides you can't throw away 500 days of subscription just like that!
If you are planning to try another antivirus solution, go for a trial, and see how it does on your pc.
In the meantime, let's see if I can get this problem to people who will look into this matter thoroughly.