Woohoo! SMALL VICTORIES! It looks like I did not have the user agent fix properly deployed. I thought for sure I did, but apparently I did not. I did a full system deployment earlier today, and I have been able to refresh my AppService after a couple hours of no use, and it loads SO MUCH BETTER NOW.
Additionally, I upgraded the instances to P2 and it is BLAZING FAST. I got accepted into Microsoft for Startups Grow stage and am now taking advantage of those credits. :)
Anyways, thank you for all the help. Things are much better now