I had all of the same problems described above. The monitor worked on other computers in my house and the dongle I was using also worked on other computers. So I knew the monitor and dongle were good and I had all the latest drivers and uprades installed. Followed all the suggestions on line for trying to fix the problem. no luck. Out of desperation, I purchased the Microsoft Surface Dock 2 (the expensive one) and as soon as I plugged it in my surface laptop 4 recognized the remote monitor. AND...when I then removed the dock and reverted to the old dongle...IT CONTINUED TO RECOGNIZE THE REMOTE MONITOR. So, it seems plugging in the Dock 2 trigger some type of reset...I can't explain why...but everything appears back to normal. Not sure whether to return the expensive Dock 2 or keep it in case I have the problem again. If you are not familiar with the Dock 2, it has one connection to your computer and that connection is where you normally plug in your power cord. Also, you should note that the Dock 2 does NOT have an HDMI port (I have no idea why) so you will still need to use a USBC to HDMI dongle...and be sure to plug that dongle into one of the 2 USBC ports on the Dock 2 which are labeled for display compatibility.
I have no idea whether this will work for others...but you might want to give it a try now that the Dock 2 is back in stock...and before you go through all of the hassles of factory resets and trying to get a new laptop from Microsoft.