Ok, after weeks of frustration, we finally figured out the problem! As many others, the 1709 installer was flagging Nero Burning ROM as blocking the update and telling me to remove it manually. And as many others, I've never had Nero installed on this computer,
so there was nothing to uninstall. Well, here's the kicker...
The Win10 1709 update installer checks for programs with compatibility issues ON YOUR ENTIRE DISK! It does not limit the check to programs that are actually installed on your machine. In my case, I had a copy of an old backup of an old computer stored in
my documents folder. That old computer had Nero on it, so deep in the backup folders there was a copy of nero.exe. It was just sitting there as data, not installed, but was still flagged by the installer.
If you're experiencing this error, and don't have nero installed, please check all of your data folders for backup copies from other machines, or perhaps old downloads even if they aren't installed. The installer doesn't care where it finds it or whether
it makes sense. If it finds nero.exe anywhere on your disk, it'll block the install of the 1709 update.
If you need help finding the blocking files, please contact microsoft via chat and ask them to send you a link to the Powershell script that can locate the files. The script found mine in literally just a few seconds! Oh, how many hours that could have saved
me!!! That's why I'm writing this... hoping it'll save someone else all the pain and weeks of frustration.
Good luck, everyone. I hope this gets documented somewhere so people can easily find it. And if Microsoft is reading this, please make sure your support people can find it quickly and FIX THE INSTALLER! It's clearly a bug if it's flagging files that aren't
actually relevant to the install.
Cheers!
-- Alejandro