Okay so after many more hours of research I stumbled across the solution accidentally. surprised Microsoft doesn't know how to fix their own issue. In order to get the check box ungreyed out.
Step one: turn both monitors on. Step 1a: open display settings.
Step 2: click identify the monitors.
Step 3: click on the 1 or 2 picture of the monitor with the rectangle around it. It will turn orange. You should now be able to access the greyed out check box.
Step 4: you'll either need to check, uncheck or recheck the Box that says make this my main display.
I hope that helps and it is understandable. if you felt that this helped please check the yes this solution helped. that was way too difficult to find out. Cheers