MANY THANKS to all those who responded: confronted with a truly awful replacement, I returned to my beloved Sculpt and did everything again - including extra- cleaned all of the battery terminals.
IT LIVES!!!!
I know it's pathetic to be so joyful about a keyboard, but when you spend half your life typing on the thing it gains a pretty high level of importance... and I am just thankful there were no cameras to record the 30-second dance...