I understand, you can try the following,
-Leave the PS + Options button pressed until the light starts blinking. If it doesn't work then try PS + SHARE, all this connected with the cable.
-The other option is to turn off your PS4, if possible disconnect it from the power to prevent it from turning on and proceed to use the Reset button on your controller, this is located in a small hole on the back, near the L2 button. With a paper clip, press the Reset button for a few seconds and when it is finished, unlink it from the factory, link it to your PS4 and that's it.
-If even with this continues the problem go to settings > devices > bluetooth devices to see if you see something of the controls, if so proceed to disconnect or remove it completely. I recommend you do it even if you reset the controller already.
-Another option, perhaps less complex, but perhaps useful, is to connect the remote control to a cell phone via Bluetooth and that's it.
Let me know if any of these options work for you.