Hi MartenM,
As far as I know, it is not available to ask owner to add yourself to a meeting or ask the organizer to add you directly in the calendar instead of sending emails, however, if this feature is important to you, it is recommend to submit a feedback on Outlook UserVoice. Some features get improved via people’s feedback, in there you can share your valued suggestions about products. Thanks for your time and understanding.
Regards,
Anna