So full solution is as follows:
x-frame error was fixed with an F5 config change.
And the workflow was fixed by applying ssl bridging/pass-through templates for sharepoint 2016 both tried and tested. F5 templates and config guide is here: https://www.f5.com/services/resources/deployment-guides/microsoft-sharepoint-2016-big-ip-v114-v12-ltm-apm-asm-afm-aam
edit: farm with the problem was sharepoint 2019, i had no such problems with sharepoint 2016 farms when it comes to f5 ssl offloading