Hi @Stephen Potts,
Thank you for posting to Microsoft Community.
Based on your description, I understand you want to reject the email with customer message in mail flow rule.
However, I am afraid you can only include the reason with O365 Non-Delivery Report(NDR) message as the screenshot below.
You could refer to Mail flow rule actions in Exchange Server | Microsoft Learn for more information.
If my answer is helpful to you, please mark it as the answer so that other users can refer to it. Thank you for your support and understanding.