Hello
Thank you for posting in Microsoft Community forum.
I understand your frustration. Here are a few suggestions that might help improve the performance of Windows Explorer on your Windows Server 2019:
Restart Windows Explorer: This can often resolve issues with slow performance. You can do this through the Task Manager.
Disable Quick Access and Clear File Explorer History: Quick Access, although handy, can slow down Windows Explorer. Try disabling it and clearing your File Explorer history.
Check for High CPU or RAM Usage: Monitor your server’s resource usage to see if any processes are consuming a significant amount of CPU or RAM.
Update Your Drivers: Make sure all your drivers, especially those related to your storage devices, are up to date.
Scan for Malware: Although unlikely on a server, malware can cause performance issues.
Check Network Speeds: Although you mentioned that shared folders load quickly, it’s still worth checking your network speeds to rule out any potential issues.
5 Ways to Fix Windows File Explorer When It’s Slow (makeuseof.com)