You are correct: Under previous versions of Windows, shared folders had a small hand underneath their icons. This flag seems to have been dropped under Windows 7.
I feel that we're running round in circles without making any real progress, probably because I am not aware of something that is particular to your machine, even though folder sharing is a simple concept that is widely used without any problems. I can see these options for you:
a) See if another respondent picks up the thread, hopefully with some fresh ideas.
b) Ask a computer-savvy friend to assist you in person.
c) Back up your data, then reload Windows.
d) Take the machines to a service shop to get professional assistance.
e) Make a fee-based service call to Microsoft.
f) Live with the problem.
g) Let me have a look at your machine, using TeamViewer
(www.teamviewer.com, using this file: http://www.teamviewer.com/download/TeamViewerQS.exe)
If you wish to consider option g), send a note to pegasusDOTfnlATgmailDOTcom.