Hi,
>is this the actually the size of the execution plan in the cache?
No, there is no correlation between buffer pool (cached data), procedure cache (execution plans), memory allocation and users (sessions).
https://stackoverflow.com/questions/33669296/determine-amount-of-memory-cached-by-user-in-sql-server
>what's memory_usage on sys.dm_exec_sessions?
Just a guess, but I would assume that this is the number of 8KB pages being used to manage the session.
https://social.msdn.microsoft.com/Forums/sqlserver/en-US/a61b5a15-9530-451f-bc6d-d52b0b0a8b16/sysdmexecsessions-memoryusage-values-only-0-2-or-3?forum=sqldatabaseengine