Have You Ever Met Bill Gates?
That's just one example of some of the questions I'm asked at least once a week. I've decided to put together my own FAQ in the hopes that I'll never have to answer these questions again:
Q: Have you ever met Bill Gates?
A: No I have not. Microsoft has over 90,000 employees worldwide; the majority of us will never meet him. I have exchanged e-mails with Steve Ballmer though.
Q: What's up with software prices, does Bill Gates really need any more money?
A: I suspect he doesn’t. He’s made more money than he’ll be able to spend in this lifetime or the next. He was named the richest person in the world 14 years in a row. Trust me when I say that Bill Gates is driven by something other than money. The cost of our software is driven by market forces, nothing more and nothing less.
Q: Can you make Windows 7 look like Windows XP?
A: Um Windows XP is more than 10 years old. Nothing (and no one for that matter) looks like it did 10 years ago. So much has changed in the last 10 years, so has our interface.
Q: What do you think of those Apple commercials?
A: They’re funny.
Q: Speaking of Apple, will you get fired for having an iPhone?
A: No, but I wouldn't sit in front of the Steve Ballmer with one. Honestly, there’s not a lot of employees that have one. Out of the literally hundreds of Microsoft people I know; only two have iPhones. No one I work with has a Blackberry or an Android - they wouldn't dare.
Q: What’s it like working for Microsoft?
A: Just like working for any other company there are some days I can’t imagine working anywhere else and some days I want to rip my hair out. I’ve been here over 8 years so I can definitely say I’ve had way more good days than bad. Microsoft is not perfect, but I could do much worse.
Q: Will I really get $5000 for forwarding an e-mail?
A: Microsoft has no e-mail tracking program, never has and never will. That stupid e-mail has been floating around the internet for at least 13-14 years and it's one of the longest running e-mail hoaxes out there. All forwarding that e-mail will do is really irritate your friends, especially the ones that work for Microsoft. If you forward that e-mail from a work account, you could also get fired.
Q: How do you really feel about Windows Vista?
A: Honestly, I really liked Vista (I’m serious, no joking). I never had any problems with Vista and I truly believe that it was a victim of bad press (and hardware vendors who didn't want to write new drivers). Everyone keeps saying that Windows 7 is what Windows Vista was meant to be. That’s fine, as long as you buy lots of it J
Q: Can you hook me up with some software?
A: It’s no secret that Microsoft employees get an awesome discount on the purchase of software and Xbox games. That and free health care are some of the best benefits of working here. What most people don’t know is there is a limit on the amount of money we can spend annually at the company store. Bottom line, if you and I aren’t really good friends AND we don’t see or speak to each other on a fairly regular basis, I’m not hooking you up with anything.
Q: Do your products support Google Chrome?
A: No. Microsoft only supports what we test and to my knowledge we have not tested our products to work with Google Chrome. This doesn’t mean that our products won’t work with Chrome, but if you call our support team they can’t help you. Will that change? I have no clue.
Q: Do you really use Bing Search?
A: Yes
Q: Do you use Skype?
A: No. First, I rarely do video chat because the camera really does add 10 lbs. Second Windows Live Messenger has supported FREE video and Messenger to Messenger calls for years.
Q: Why is Microsoft licensing so confusing?
A: Licensing can either be simple or flexible, but it can’t be both. Microsoft chose flexible. Don’t worry, because of the sheer number of licensing options, even Microsoft employees sometimes get confused.
We employ hundreds of licensing specialists and executives who are paid to know licensing forwards and backwards. We also work with Large Account Resellers (LARs) who dedicate people to understanding and selling Microsoft licensing. There are only 12 in the United States:
· CDW Computer Centers, Inc. 800-800-4239
· CompuCom Systems 877-856-1377
· Dell Computer Corporation 800-289-3355
· En Pointe Technologies 800-800-4214
· Hewlett Packard Company 800-888-5858
· SoftChoice Corporation 800-268-7638
· Software House International (SHI) 888-764-8888
Hopefully this helps and you can find different questions to ask me and your Microsoft friends. Time for shopping and the spa…..
Ciao!
Comments
Anonymous
January 01, 2003
Thanks!Anonymous
March 14, 2011
I know I'm late to the game, but your FAQs are HILARIOUS!!! Great answers!